04/07/2020

What To Do When You Don’t Fit In

Articles
By Karen O'Connor

I’ve rarely admitted this outside of my close family and friends because the whole world LOVES Oprah and they get pretty rabid when I say there’s just something about her that I don’t like. II don’t know what it is, I just don’t like her.

And yes, I know I’m totally weird and maybe that has something to do with it.

Every time I say to myself, “oh, maybe I actually should just ignore all those icky feelings I get when I watch her and just like the woman like the rest of the world does”, something happens to stop me doing that, as it did yesterday.

And let me just say right here that I know how much of a difference the woman has made in the world and I applaud her for that. I just don’t like her on a personal level, that’s all; you know, when you get weird vibes about someone and you can’t put your finger on it? There’s no rhyme or reason, you just know that it wouldn’t go well if you tried to create any kind of relationship with them. It’s that feeling.

A few weeks ago, a friend put me onto a book called The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Oprah credits this book as being pivotal in her life. She and Maya Angelou wrote forewords for the book (if you’re interested in reading it, head on over to the Book Shop on my website and buy it through there, earn me some brownie points and maybe 5c from Amazon 😁) and it is indeed groundbreaking.

Unfortunately, I also find the book as boring as reading Eckhart Tolle. Amazing guy, really mind blowing things to say, sends me to sleep in about 5 minutes when I’m reading his stuff (and less when I’m listening to him talking (Eckhart, that is. Haven’t listened to Gary Zukav yet)).

John, however, has found his new guru. He LOVES the book (I got it in Audible for him, which you can also get through the Book Shop on my website and you might even earn me 10c if you buy that one 😁) and he also loves quoting bits of it to me, which is great because it saves me reading it myself. 😊

I was trying to explain to John yesterday how I’m finding that being calm and peaceful maybe isn’t for me – I feel like I’m flat lining – and John quoted something that he’d heard on Oprah’s podcast when she was talking to Gary Zukav.

You can tell from the tone of voice that this isn’t likely to go well for John, can’t you? 😂😂

Gary Zukav was talking about this stay-at-home mother of three who had one child who was particularly challenging and constantly attention seeking. When this mother went to yell at her child, she should actually pause for a moment, seek guidance from her soul and allow love to flow through. If she did that, she wouldn’t yell at her child, she’d hold them, and deal with them only from a space of calm, peaceful love.

Hmm. Is that right?

A childless woman and a childless man telling a mother what’s she’s doing wrong and how she’s going against her soul when she yells at her children?

No judgement there, then. No sanctimony, either.

Also, let’s point out that there’s ZERO understanding and ZERO personal experience.

I’m doing a podcast about this because it’s something that I want to look at in depth. This kind of arms-length judgement does no one any good, least of all the people being judged.

Particularly not when it’s a judgement on something that people have dedicated their lives to, are constantly trying their best at and striving to achieve perfection, and who would who would happily throw themselves under the bus to save the people they’re caring for.

That’s not to say we’re all perfect and don’t need to learn anything, but the other thing that comes up for me here is, there’s no room for individuality: you do it a certain way or it’s wrong.

Any full-time parent will tell you that kids push them to a point where they lose their sh*t. Only then do the kids stop pushing.

I always, ALWAYS explained things to my kids, in depth and several times. Ryan said yesterday that I only started yelling when i) they hadn’t listened multiple times, ii) they’d continued to do something despite being asked not to, and iii) they knew they were doing something they shouldn’t. Or they were in danger; then I’d start yelling instantly.

What are your thoughts on this?

PS Images of Oprah and Gary Zukav courtesy of www.seatofthesoul.com and Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sessions