I had no idea that a forceps delivery would have any impact on me. I was certainly upset by the bruises on my baby’s face but I honestly thought that an “assisted” birth was way better than having a Caesarean.
Twenty five years later, I find out that I have major – and permanent – issues from that decision.
To be fair, I don’t think the medical profession understood at the time what a forceps delivery actually does to a woman, they’re only just beginning to understand now.
Twelve years ago, I had a pelvic mesh inserted to help with the prolapses from the forceps birth, the same pelvic mesh involved in the worldwide class action (you can read about the Australian class action here).
The pelvic mesh started causing problems pretty much straight away and I had procedures to try to correct it in 2011 and 2012. The recovery period for the second operation was three months of no bending, no lifting my arms above my head, no picking anything up, and no driving, then twelve months where the most exertion I could do was walking.
I’m just about to have another procedure to try to remove the mesh completely (they weren’t able to do that before) but fortunately, the recovery time shouldn’t be as long. This time, I only have six weeks of not being able to lift, pick things up, bend or drive.
I’m not looking forward to it but I can’t wait for the mesh to be removed.
If you had an assisted birth and are wondering what the possible implications might be, or if you have pelvic mesh, I’d love to hear from you to find out your experiences, so please get in touch 🙂
You can email me me via the link below or comment on the post or podcast or catch up with me via one of the social media links below
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60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share When I started this podcast, one of the things I wanted to do was chat to my friends so they could share their stories. I love listening to people’s stories and I’m always left feeling deep respect for the things they’ve dealt with in their lives and the way they’ve dealt with them. Jo Dolan, the woman I’m talking to today, is one of those women. She’s highly educated, a volunteer fire fighter and former taxi driver who’s shaved her head twice to raise funds for cancer research. And she’s now a much sought after editor for PhD students. Twelve years ago, Jo’s daughter Kate discovered that she had a melanoma. You might think that having a melanoma isn’t a big deal, I know I didn’t. I thought you just went to the hospital, got it cut out, maybe take some drugs to help clear it up and then carry on with your life. But you might just make sure that you use more sunscreen and wear a hat. For Kate, the melanoma wouldn’t clear. After two years of treatment, the cancer got into her brain and Kate died aged 21. What became clear to Jo was that they actually knew very little of their family’s medical history and had they known more, things might – might – have turned out differently. In the ten years since Kate’s death, Jo’s started to turn her own experiences and insights into a way of helping and supporting other people going through the same kind of thing: being carers to their sick child. She’s now coming up to her final qualifications as a life coach as well as setting up a website. Her intention is to help people record their stories for two reaons: Firstly to hopefully to share them with their children or grandchildren. But at the very least to record family medical history so that medical professionals have every piece of medical information that they might need. You can contact Jo at: Her website is http://rightingwriting.com.au/ On Facebook, find her at https://www.facebook.com/joanna.dolan More fabulous podcasts and articles 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share Podcast Episode 9 It’s well known that insomnia can lead to depression and anxiety and vice versa, but there are a few things about sleep that I’ve discovered recently, along with the impact that social isolation can have on our mental & emotional state. Listen to the latest episode here: Resources Video Click here to watch the TedMed talk by Jeffrey Iliff – “One more reason to get a good night’s sleep” Recommended Reading: Note: these are affilliate links and I may get a small commission if you purchase anything. Click on the link on the right to read the full disclosure Sleep Affirmations: 200 Phrases for a Deep and Peaceful Sleep Kindle Edition by Jennifer Williamson Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams Kindle Edition by Matthew Walker Why We Can’t Sleep: Generation X Women’s New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun Sleep: Change the way you sleep with this 90 minute read by Nick Littlehales Apps to Help You Sleep Sleep Cycle: smart alarm clock. Sleep tracker to better health AutoSleep Track Sleep on Watch: Sleep Tracker & Monitor Brainwave Studio: relaxation, stress relief, sleep support, meditation and mind training system, with 40 sessions of nature sounds and ambient music. Affirmation Assistant: hundreds of positive affirmations or positive quotes. More fabulous articles and podcasts 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share I got asked an interesting question: would I expect to have to parent my partner? I have strong opinions about this aspect of Australian culture that’s always been a source of irritation for me. Plus Part 2 of my learnings and experience during the amazing Persistent Pain Management Program that I’m lucky to be a part of before my upcoming operation to remove the painful pelvic mesh. More fabulous podcasts and articles 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share Podcast Episode 7 Persistent and chronic pain is something that a large number of women live with from a variety of causes: migraines, fibromyalgia (Lady Gaga is a sufferer), cancer, arthritis, or, in my case, pelvic mesh that has gone horribly wrong. What I’ve come to realise is that persistent pain is very much a hidden disease, mostly because the sufferers look okay physically. Everyone on this program has, on more than one occasion, been told that it’s all in our heads and we ought to get over it. It’s bad enough to be on the receiving end of that when it’s a friend or acquaintance that says that, but when it’s a close family member, it makes it so much worse. The really interesting thing is that science is now showing that this kind of pain – persistent, chronic pain – really is all in our heads, and is actually caused by a nervous system malfunction. Click on one of the links to listen to the first part of my experiences on the Persistent Pain Management Program. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode, too! xxx More fabulous podcasts and articles 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share People think I’m busy, that I’ve always got a tonne of things on and I can’t sit still for five minutes, but I’m a complete novice compared to my friend, Stephanie. After moving to Australia via NZ from South Africa, she divorced her husband and set about raising her five children, one of whom is autistic, while holding down an executive job and putting as much effort as she could into her own personal development. Figuring that she needed to be financially independent, she began renovating & selling properties in her spare time and then became an Executive Producer on a movie-length documentary about the 70’s singer, Suzi Quatro. The way Steph works on herself and how she deals with her large team at work, her kids and in creating her future is fascinating. More fabulous podcasts and great articles Subscribe today and you’ll get new episodes right when they’re released! 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share I just found this article, and, to me, it’s spot on. I’ve had several conversations with friends who have younger children who’ve commented that the parents telling the children what to do is “old fashioned” and that parents these days “discuss” things with their children. There’s nothing wrong with discussion, I always explained what and why we were doing things with my kids and we’d have a conversation about it. But make no mistake: the final decision about what we were doing (and what the kids would be doing) was mine. I’m the adult, it’s my responsibility to make sure what the kids are doing is the best thing for everyone concerned. I’ve kept my mouth shut about this because there are so many people who believe that the child knows what’s best for themselves but the way I look at it is this: I have decades more life experience than my child and their well-being is my responsibility. I will ALWAYS listen to their thoughts and input and I will ALWAYS see things from their viewpoint. ALWAYS. But if I think they’re making a mistake or what they’re doing is dangerous, not in their best interest or downright stupid, then it’s MY responsibility to explain to them why I think that, discuss the whole thing and then do things my way. That’s my responsibility as a parent. I was, apparently, absolutely infuriating as the parent of a teen. Said teenager would come home from school, tired and irritable and looking for an argument, and make some outrageous statement to me that was specifically designed to start an argument. Most of the time, I’m a bit unaware of that kind of thing anyway, happily living in my own la-la land, but my commitment to my children is that I understand them: if I don’t understand them and where they’re coming from, I can’t guide them to the best of my ability. So, I’d go quiet while I mulled over whatever ridiculous thing had been said, trying to see things from that perspective and understand why they might think that and then – working on the assumption that the comment was a serious one – I’d have an in-depth discussion about that viewpoint. According to the kids, it was the most exasperating thing that I did; they didn’t want understanding and a discussion, they wanted a fight! The other big one is “no”. No means no. There are no “hard” or “soft” no’s, there’s just “no”. And if I say “no”, the kids are more than welcome to explain why they think that’s the wrong answer and why they think the answer should be “yes”, but if they throw themselves on the floor, stomp out or start yelling at me that I’m mean, then they’ll find a “no” about several other things flying their way too, even if I’ve already said “yes” to them. Yes, I know, I’m far from perfect and yelling at me will often result in not only me yelling back, but me also massively curtailing any pleasurable activities that were planned. As a parent, I am the guide. Like a guide on a mountain trip, it’s my responsibility to make sure that I share my knowledge and equip the group as best as I can for the journey ahead. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let them wander to the edge of the cliff and walk over it, or if I didn’t warn them of the dangers and make sure they understood. I’m not doing my job if I let them ignore me and do what they want to do. Nor am I doing my job if I didn’t have them look up and see the beauty around them. My job is to have them understand the world, learn how to make sense of things, understand the rules… … note: understanding and following the rules are two completely different things. You can only change the rules if you understand them. But most of all, my job is to have them understand themselves, to learn how they work, where they’re most powerful, where they feel helpless, how they behave, what works for them and what doesn’t, what scares them or defeats them, what makes them feel good. No means no. As a parent, step up to the plate and take responsibility. Teach your children the things they need to know. Just because they don’t think it’s necessary from where they’re sat right now, doesn’t mean that they’re right or that they don’t need to learn it. If you, with your decades of additional experience, can see that this is what they need right now, then that’s what they need. Stop being a flake to the people who are most important in your life. Here is the article written by Dr. Luis Rojas Marcos, Psychiatrist. There is a silent tragedy that is developing day after day in our homes and concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state. Over the past 15 years, researchers have given us increasingly alarming statistics about a sharp and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions: The statistics show that: 1 in 5 children have mental health problems A 43% increase in ADHD was noted A 37% increase in adolescent depression was noted A 200% increase in the suicide rate in children between 10 and 14 years has been noted. What is going on and what are we doing wrong? Today’s children are over-stimulated and overloaded with material objects, but they are deprived of what is truly fundamental for a healthy and happy childhood, such as: Emotionally available parents Clearly defined limits Responsibility Balanced nutrition and good sleep quality Movement in the open air Creative play, social interaction, unstructured play opportunities and spaces for boredom. Instead, these last few years we have filled them with: Digitally distracted parents Indulgent and permissive parents who let children “rule the world” and be the ones who set the rules A sense of right, of undeservedly everything without earning it or being responsible for it Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition A sedentary lifestyle Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification and the absence of boring moments. What to do? If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we must wake up and go back to basics. It is still possible … with the following recommendations: Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your children will feel more confident knowing that you are in control of the helm. Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what they need, not just what they want. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your kids if what they want isn’t what they need. Provide nutritious foods and limit junk food. Spend at least an hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, walking, fishing, bird / insect watching. Enjoy a daily family dinner with no phones or technology to distract them. Play with family board games or if the children are very young for board games, let yourself be carried away by your interests and allow them to lead the game. Involve your children in some homework or homework according to their age (folding clothes, ordering toys, hanging clothes, arranging food, setting the table, feeding the dog, etc.). Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure that your baby sleeps well. Timetables will be even more important for school-aged children. Teach responsibility and independence. Do not protect them in excess against any frustration or error. Making mistakes will help them develop resilience and learn to overcome life’s challenges, Do not pack your children’s backpack, do not bring their backpacks, do not bring them the task they have forgotten, do not peel their bananas or oranges if they can do it alone (4-5 years). Instead of giving them fish, educate them to fish. Educate them to wait and delay gratification. Provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. You don’t feel responsible for keeping children entertained. Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it on the first second of inactivity. Avoid the use of technology during meals, in cars, in restaurants, in shopping malls. Use these moments as an opportunity to socialize, thus training your brains to work when they are in “boredom” mode. Help them create a “jar of boredom” with business ideas for when they are bored. Turn off phones at night when children have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction. Become a regulator or emotional trainer of your children. Educate them to recognize and manage their frustrations and anger. Educate them to greet, to take turns, to share without remaining without anything, to say thank you and please, to recognize the error and apologize (do not force them), be a model of all those values that you inculcate them. Connect emotionally – smiles, hugs, kisses, tickles, reading, dancing, jumping, playing with them. Thank you for the share. More fabulous podcasts and articles 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share THE DEATH OF YOUR CHILD When your life is blown apart by something so traumatic, things can never be the same again. This wasn’t a planned conversation. My friend, Deborah Corbin, and I had planned to talk about something completely different (and much more lighthearted, though no less serious), but the death of Kobe Bryant just a few hours before our chat, changed everything. I knew that Deborah’s son, Graham, died a few days before Christmas in 2017. I knew how much pain Graham’s death had obviously caused Deborah and how much effort it took for her to keep going and take care of the rest of her family in the appalling aftermath. But I didn’t know the details of what had happened and I certainly didn’t want to ask; the woman was in enough pain without me getting her to go through it all again by recounting the story for my benefit. If she wanted to talk, I made sure she knew I was there, but I wasn’t going to open that conversation; that was for her to do. This is the first time Deborah has spoken openly and publicly about what happened with Graham and how she’s dealt with it – and is still dealing with it. Kobe Bryant’s untimely death brought it all back to the surface. Make no mistake, while this conversation is about an horrific turn of events, it’s primarily about hope, creating wonderful memories, and rebuilding your life. Deborah has been a dedicated educator and life coach for many years now, and she put all of her learnings to good use to help pick herself up and carry on with life. Listen to the podcast and find out: ✨❤️✨ The full story of what happened ✨❤️✨ The difficulties faced when someone dies in a different state ✨❤️✨ How the emotions are like waves and how to not let them drown you ✨❤️✨ How to deal with the grief, anger and sadness, both in the initial stages and ongoingly ✨❤️✨ How to recreate yourself and your life after such a life-changing event ✨❤️✨ Why you NEED to ask for – and how to get – support ✨❤️✨ How to find a new purpose in life ✨❤️✨ How to deal with the grief the rest of your family are feeling ✨❤️✨ How to talk about what happened, and why you need to do that ✨❤️✨ Deborah wants to reach out to as many other people who are going through similar things in the hope that she can support them or at least offer some insights as to how they might make sense of things and begin to get their life back together ✨❤️✨ So, click on the button below to listen to this inspirational – and heartbreaking – story. I’ve done very little editing of the audio; I wanted you to hear the story as I did. Thanks for listening xxx ✨❤️✨ Click here to connect with Deborah on Facebook ✨❤️✨ Deborah recommends… It always makes a difference when something is recommended by someone you trust. Here are Deborah’s favourite books. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris 🌟🌟🌟 MUST READ BOOKS! 🌟🌟🌟 Here you’ll find the books recommended by all my guests as well as the books that I love personally. Find Your Next Favourite Book Here More fabulous podcasts and great articles Subscribe today and you’ll get new episodes right when they’re released! 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share Marie-Anne Lecoeur is an expert in: 🌟🌟 French chic and style (as opposed to fashion) 🌟🌟 Identifying your body shape 🌟🌟 Dressing to suit your body shape 🌟🌟 Finding your own stylish flair 🌟🌟 Eating to nourish your body and maintain a healthy weight 🌟🌟 Home cooking the French way 🌟🌟 Living a minimalist (and tidy!) life (she was writing about this BEFORE Marie Kondo!) 🌟🌟 Organising your cupboards and closets in an attractive and inviting way I’ve known Marie-Anne for more than three years now. We speak on the phone several times a week. I knew all of the things that she does online but I didn’t know half of the things I found out about her personally during this interview! 🌟🌟 Marie-Anne quit her job at the age of 50 to follow her love of writing 🌟🌟 Within a few months, she had not one but TWO Amazon best selling books: “You only live once, Ka-REN” (say in a strong French accent) “And, like most people, I felt like I had a book in me, so one Sunday, I sat down in the garden and just wrote and wrote.” 🌟🌟 For the next six months or so, one or the other of her books was the best seller in its category 🌟🌟 She left her home in the Channel Islands and headed to Mexico 🌟🌟 Now back in France she bought and renovated a 200-year old run down cottage 🌟🌟 Her You Tube channel focusses on style and food 🌟🌟 Her videos have had more than 6 million views Click on the link below to listen to the podcast and find out more about this hilarious and passionate woman. CONNECT with Marie-Anne YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3iINwXX6oQ0DqfE1SQ-S-w Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/marieanne.lecoeur Facebook page – https://www.facebook.com/howtobechicandelegant/ Web – https://www.howtobechicandelegant.com More fabulous podcasts and great articles Subscribe today and you’ll get new episodes right when they’re released! 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share In this episode, I talk to Kylie Mitchell, House Designer, business owner, and all-round awesome person about how she dealt with a brain tumour, a marriage break up, becoming a grandmother before the age of 50, and then being diagnosed with breast cancer. And if she didn’t have enough going on in her life, she also rebuilt her business while all this was going on, got back onto the dating scene (which is definitely an in-depth conversation for the future) and moved interstate. Enjoy the podcast and don’t forget to click on subscribe. xxx Links and further information The links that Kylie mentioned are: The naturopath is Carla Wren at The Peninsula Herbal Dispensary in Mornington, Vic. She will do remote consults. Her website is www.arthouses.com.au (NB: It’s getting some new changes as that was for the NSW business) Facebook Personal – Kylie Mitchell Facebook Business – The Art House Factory YouTube – Kylie Mitchell – The Art House Factory Instagram Personal – Kyliearthouses Instagram Business – The Art House Factory More fabulous podcasts and great articles Subscribe today and you’ll get new episodes right when they’re released! Connect with me! If you haven’t guessed by now, I LOVE meeting new people! Connect with me on Facebook – on my personal profile or on the Menopause, Marriage and Motherhood Page (the icon with the flag), as well as Instagram. But DEFINITELY JOIN OUR MENOPAUSE, MARRIAGE AND MOTHERHOOD FACEBOOK GROUP! Social media can be a scary place but this group gives you a safe, supportive, encouraging and fun space to connect with other midlife women and for all of us to share our stories and our lives. Karen O’Connor Menopause, Marriage & Motherhood Page Menopause, Marriage & Motherhood Page Karen O’Connor 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share
60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share 😂💖 How To Have The Best Day EVER 💖😂 In this episode, I share what got me out of the dark hole that I was in a few years ago and the things that I do to make sure that I have the best day possible. I discovered that if I start my day doing things I don’t enjoy such as housework, screaming at kids, emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry and that kind of thing, then I find that by the time I go to bed, all I’ve done is… Housework, scream at kids, empty the dishwasher, do the laundry and that kind of thing. It’s weird. I felt that I probably ought to try something different to see if my whole experience of life was different, but that’s easier said than done, right? After all, when you’ve got kids, the moment your foot hits the floor in the morning, someone wants you to do stuff for them and you’re off and running at the speed of light. I found it relentless. I felt like my whole entire life consisted of boring, mundane, meaningless crap. So, I moaned about it for a while (okay, several years) and then I decided to try a few different things. This is what works for me: 💖 How to use affirmations to regain self-esteem & rediscover your purpose 💖 How to incorporate your passions into your everyday life 💖 How to create a daily routine tailored for you 💖 The importance of putting yourself first even when you’ve got kids 💖 Which apps, books, tools and people I use to help me have the best day ever. Listen NOW! More fabulous podcasts and great articles 60 SHARES Share on Facebook Follow us Save Share